Connecting the Dots, Film, Psychology, Re-Views, Reality Check

“Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom” in the Two Toed World of Thoughts and Prayers

Oh my dear darlings, the fallen leaves of last year left on the ground to rot. I know you missed me, as much as I missed the stench of clogged sewer holes of New York City. I would be still quietly enjoying this gooey muck the mad, mad world is spreading around like some kind of cow shit on the fields of freedom if not for somebody finding the picture of my innocent toes (gasp!) worth of removal from the Internets. Boy, oh boy, they are going to be not sorry they stepped on my two crusty chicken fingers. They woke me up like that bear I ate last winter (long story).

You see, all would be cool and dandy and I will be still posting bare asses of celebrities on social media, but the removal of one of my personal photos from the Facethingy I love to stick around and watch how the facts disappear and opinionated flat earthers become the messiahs giving the free ranged “thoughts and prayers” was a bit too much. My two titsy-bitsy toes caught somebody’s attention. It was utterly appalling. The unimaginable happened. I looked at my toes as I have never looked at them before. Oh you naughty little things. How dare you prostitute yourself around like that. I put my feet into the crocs, two and a half sizes too small, and… damn, I needed to calm myself down, so I went to my vault of the most calming movies ever made and re-watched the delightful film of them all Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom, because, you know, that’s how I protest censorship.

Oh my dear darlings, if you just knew how this film calms me down. When the times are unsure there is nothing more enjoyable as watching some prune faced fucks (pardon for my French) torture kids. It is almost like watching a reality show shot somewhere at the Mexican border. I mean, there is a reason why raping, killing and abducting kids for prostitution and organ harvesting is so in vogue today. Just look at this film Pasolini created in 1975. He got killed before the premier of the film though, so there is no way for us to find about all these fashionable traits we are experiencing today, but the evidence he left behind in the film might reveal to us the mystery of it all.

Salo, o le 120 giornate di Sodoma (Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom). Dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini. Subject and Script: Pier Paolo Pasolini and Sergio Citti. Criterion, 1975, (that’s right, my darlings, you will need to read the subtitles, but you might be distracted by some titties, a random ass fuck or your upset stomach, so the subtitles might become the last thing you will worry about.)

The movie is divided in four parts “The Antiferno,” “The Circle of Madness (or Manias),” “The Circle of Shit,” and “The Circle of Blood.” Every circle is constructed as Dante’s “Inferno” deeper you go mushier it becomes.

In the Antiferno four men sign a paper where they decide to get married to each other’s daughters. (Oh, just look at that, the incest right from the top of the film, but there is more, no outsiders allowed to join the most exclusive club of them all!) The Duke, The Bishop, The Magistrate and The President are the rich and the powerful who will decide who will live and who will be punished during their “reign” in Salo “republic” they create. They have four libertine women to help them to achieve what their sick minds are imagining. They recruit four well endowed men as their guards (and occasional fucks) and go to the country side for…

Nine girls and nine boys are chosen during the Antiferno part. There are naked titties and penises flopping around. These “creators of jobs” are inspecting each girl and each boy. They are not interested in spending on no insurance, no. Perfect health and dental hygiene is checked on each of the teenagers who stand as some kind of cattle for sale. They are looked at, touched and otherwise humiliated by the four. It seems like there is no dental plan to be splurged on, so one of the girls is out of the picture, after it is discovered, she is missing a tooth. After the inspection is done, the boys and girls are collected into a truck and transported to their future job site. If I would not know when this film was set, I would have thought these boys and girls were taken to one of those places which name sounds like that forest in Brazil. Oh, there is one boy who jumps out of the moving car, but he finishes with a bullet in his scull. Poor lad, he thought he could escape the system.

In the Circle of Madness we see the chatto (fancy French name for the “castle”) where the victims will be living for the rest of the film (the rest of their lives). They are introduced to the rules. The four read them, as would a priest read the commandments in the church. They sounds pretty much like these agreements you must sign. If you don’t follow them, you will be punished. The first punishment drops in almost immediately. A girl who prays for God suffocates in front of His image. Poor girl, it seems like she didn’t read to the end of what she was signing for. She looked at something inappropriate on her wall. The Facething chocked her to death, thus banned her for life. (Oh my goodness!)

The first madam is introduced with her mad stories of sexual perversion. The behavior of the four is out of the proportions. Though, can you believe it, but this circle is not as bad as the circles which will follow it. In this circle an occasional rape with occasional nails in your soup or an occasional bullet in somebody’s skull are like this breakfast coffee with a croissant you might enjoy, though no coffee and no croissant is going to be served because…

In the Circle of Shit there is nothing more important than a piece of shit. It is served on a silver platter during the shit eating fiesta. The second madam tells her sexy scat stories. Nobody can poop before the party, because, hellooo, no turd can be wasted. It is the main dish on the dinner table, mind you. Of course, one of the girls could not hold it anymore. So she left a little tootsie roll in a poo-pee pot and oh my, my, she ended up with the rest of the punished girls and boys in a tub of browny delight, literally bathing in it, while the others enjoyed the shitfest with an occasional ass fuck as if that’s how you throw a party, all perfectly normal, don’t you think?

The Circle of Blood is not for the weak. The last madam is there with her blood and gore stories of pleasure. After she finishes her last tale about bloody this and bloody that, the four prepare themselves for the big bloodshed where all the punished girls and boys will be tortured and later killed. During this part the piano player silently commits suicide by jumping out the window (ups!) Two boys, after being fondled by the Duke or the Bishop, I can’t tell it now, dance a slow dance while he watches through the binoculars how a tongue, an eye, and scalp are cut by the other three on the square outside of his window, which reminds of a pigsty with the kids running around naked in the mud. All of it is performed in silence and in the distance.

The film has all the things that show how lovable the human nature is. Who could deny torturing kids while some “proper” ladies in their most expensive ballgowns tell us how they were taken advantage of by one or several “proper” gentlemen and how much they liked it. I mean, they tell first world country’s problems, but still. Oh, Pasolini, how dared you show the high society in such a light. You should had known not to step on anybody’s toes (aha, the toes!)

Not sure how far you can go watching this film? My darlings, good news, we are living in it today. Isn’t fabulous? What are these mass shootings or occasional wars we don’t even know why we fight anymore in comparison to all this fun we see in this film. There are always thoughts and prayers to be sent somewhere. It’s not like we have to go to a post office and buy a stamp or something. It’s all free and we can do that while siting on the toilet. Click click and we are done. You might feel a bit queasy after learning about some random immigrant dying somewhere at the imaginary border, very reality TV I would say, but to feel like somebody just stuck a metal rod into your brain, scalped you off and popped your eyes out of the sockets with the kitchen knife is what we are aiming for, don’t we? Besides there are always opioids to be prescribed by doctor this or doctor that, you know. These lovely rich, hard working people, will prance on your bleeding guts after they skin you and leave you to bake in the scorching sun after paying you the “minimum wage” because, well, that shit they were serving you on the silver platter was full of nails, so be happy the price for the nails was not deducted from your paycheck. My darlings, no crocs will stop you from leaping out of the window the way this piano player lady did by the end of the film, because, well, you just have no insurance to pay for all this wonderful madness. But, I mean, how dared she leave you without her piano music.

My dear darlings, after emptying my bowels quite a few times (that might actually do good for my figure!) I realized that maybe these pruned faced people who pretend to be so proper, shitting on the golden toilets, really are preparing us for a similar party. Aw, how very considered of them, don’t you think? Isn’t delightful how all is decided for us? There is no need to be a hero the way this boy at the beginning of the film was. Do you really want to escape this madness you are forced to encounter? You might finish with a bullet in your scull, if you try something stupid, like protest or some shit like that. Oh, you would be such a waste. There is so much potential in you, so much young skin to be skinned, so much torture to be experienced. The big pharma would really miss you. Many might say, you are lucky if you end up with the bullet and I say phf, they don’t know what they are talking about.

This film will be hard to swallow. If these kids can eat the actual shit while being raped and tortured by these very few who have the power, you will be just dandy. Pasolini ended up with his member out in the mud with an open fly and his scull mushed in as if it was a deflated ball. His body was ran over by a car a couple of times, because, well, with this film he stepped on those two toes he was not supposed to step on.

Is this a film you have to watch? Absolutely! Should you watch it with your date? Sure! Especially if you are trying to ditch that date and be written off in their phone book as a pervert. I tell you, every time I am around this film, I put it on. See, it saves me breakfast. (Smiley face)

Oh, and here is that picture of my two sexy fish sticks! Go ahead, get your rocks off, I don’t mind, neither do they. Tah-dah!

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Connecting the Dots, Psycho-Logic-Ally [in] Correct Speaking, Reality Check

Nothing about Nipples, but I Got Your Attention: Sony Reads “The Producers,” Releases “The Interview”

Alright my dear darlings, finally I got drunk enough (again) to be able to say something (again) about something.

I am going to say three things:
Sony
The Interview
The Producers
Sonny tanks, reads The Producers, makes the film The Interview. Everybody screams in fear (ha) and flops to the “theaters” to see the above mentioned film. Bravo PR people. You need to get a raise. The world’s best publicity campaign. End of the story (smiley face).

Oh yeah, you can discuss it here.

but… I woke up on this sunny New Year’s morning and realized that I have this chocking need to elaborate on whatever f*ck I have said in this entry last year. It is quite uncomfortable to write these words right now while still in bed and having a hangover. But you know what, my darlings, I am realizing that I am less and less tolerant to some bullshit somebody else is trying to make me to believe. So I am going to give you my own bullshit so you have something to compare with. Which bullshit stinks more, you decide.

What upsets me the most is that the other bullshit is making me an angry duck. Yes, a duck who wants to nip you in your privates when that above mentioned bullshit is overflowing. Well since this is my blog, I feel like it is my duty to flush this bullshit with some “proper” English dipped in Russian vodka. Hmmm, now that I think, maybe the vodka is making me this angry? Who knows. When you have dipped your brain in it, some crazy diarrhea comes out on paper. Yes, I wrote this whole thing on a piece of paper, so bite me! Ugh, you see how angry I am and this is happening on the very first day of the New Year. What is going to happen on the tenth day, I wonder? I am a little afraid for you, my dear readers. Switching between alcohols might prove that I have become completely insane. And you know what? IDGAF. Scratch it, IDGA Duck. You already thinking that I am insane anyways so here are no surprises there but you might start believing that I completely went nuts after you read what I have to say about all this hacking business going around. My darlings, it is not a secret for you anymore that I like finding some things where they might not be. I cannot help myself, my brain, when it is swimming in alcohol does something to me and the next thing you know I find myself swimming in thousands of words about something that might prove my insanity and insanity of others like you, thank you…

Now, since I have warned you, let’s talk about all this Sony slash North Korea business.

When I heard for the first time about Sony being hacked by North Korean hackers because of some film, I was like, uh-oh, or rather my brain was like “uh-oh, hot dog.” If you know where this is from, five points for you. I don’t know why five points? It seems appropriate to give you that credit on this early morning.

So okay, “uh-oh, hot dog” happened and I found myself thinking what a brilliant idea to advertise a film which actually deals with North Korea. But then my brain got its own “uh-oh, hot dog” thing about some tax break loopholes, mind you, and I went… Wow, wow, wow, brain, stop it. This is a completely different topic, nobody is going to understand what the f*ck you are talking about… And it said, give me more vodka.

Okay, my darlings, I don’t remember what exactly I was doing when I heard this excruciating news about Sony’s privates being exposed by the good ol’ buddy North Korea. I also have absolutely no idea what is happening over there, behind that heavy curtain of Socialism and I am not going to pretend that I am not ignorant, but come on, you need a little bit more than that to convince me that North Korea suddenly saw a film which was only seen by a selective few behind closed doors and… and realized shit… yes, literally they realized that they are in a deep shit. This is how bad this film was. And it could happen that then the producers even wished that North Korea had something actually to do with the creation of this film, but… okay, brain, you need to return, you are not going to get vodka there. Liquor stores are still closed. You are out of luck. It is a New Year’s Day. Come back, my darling, and let me finish this whole… I don’t even know what to call it… thing I am writing now?

It seems my brain’s back. Talk to me, darling… My brain says, go f*ck yourself. Ups, you again, went to the wrong direction. Come back. (yeah, I know, this makes absolutely no sense)

My darlings, you see how I have to trick my brain back into thinking? Voila! The smell of “Farbreeze” I sprayed around the dirty dishes in my sink did the job.

So, where were we? Oh, that’s right, Sony realized that the film stank, ha ha! I knew that “Farbreeze” had something to do with it. The producers of The Interview were just about to lose a lot of money and… as we know, this cannot happen, because, you know, who wants to go bankrupt and start paying all these taxes as all of us do? Not Sony, no. So Sony needed a plan, a good ol’ promotional trick to trick every one (well maybe not every one) into thinking that the film is so great that even North Korea, all three people with computers there, saw it even before the boss of Sony did. Yes, I am being a complete ignorant duck saying that there are only three computers in North Korea. There might be five or maybe even six of them. Forgive my ignorance North Korea. What can I say, brain, it is still thinking that what it got was the real thing when I sprayed myself with the above mentioned “Farbreeze.”

My darlings, here comes the most exciting part in this hacky-backy story. Sony needed to have a meeting and have somebody like me who just recently watched an oldie but goody film The Producers in their camp. And Eureka! They did it. They found that somebody who brought to the table a book “How to Make Money While Making a Flop? – Producing Films for Dummies.”

Phh, to convince the media that Sony was hacked was a piece of cake. Remember this guy?

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/high-school-student-scores-72-million-playing-stock-market-2014-12-14

Alright, that’s easy. It becomes even easier when you have all these millions you set aside for the promotion of the film. So the little guy who came up with this brilliant idea to take a few pages (well maybe not so few) from The Producers and make the trick happen… and the “promotion”, brilliant as brilliant as the brains of writers who wrote the original script of The Producers, began. Sony needs to give you a cut Mr. Brooks.

So what happened next? Oh the media ate the news about North Korea’s hacking into Sony’s system. It ate it and asked for more or rather started baking “the news” themselves about a country almost nobody have visited. And what do we know; The Interview became the most talked film around the town. Listen, even I, who lives without a TV, heard about it, so machine was working and it was working oh so well. Of course there were needed some “sacrifices” made, but when you know that quite a few people are going to download the film for free anyways, you say f*ck it, let them have it. Let’s show how “generous” we are. Even after these terrible warnings the film came out to theaters and, what do you know, the threats suddenly stopped coming in. They magically disappeared till, of course, the next time another film needs some push.

Oh my darlings, I wish I knew what that next time is going to be. My brain is still high on “Farbreeze.” It could be that we will start talking about somebody’s ass again, but that’s already old news, right?

I am sure I left quite a few details here, but be my darlings, rent The Producers and have fun with it. Comedy is a powerful tool. It makes you laugh. Uh-oh, Hot Dog!

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Connecting the Dots, Psycho-Logic-Ally [in] Correct Speaking

Legally Allowed to Kill a Kitty

Liza Minelli’s Nipples, Anatoly Kashpirovsky and what you most likely not seeing while watching a cat video.

Oh yeah, my darlings, today Plastikoff is going to be quite political, quite politically [in]correct, I should correct.

I started writing about Liza’s nipples at the Oscars and… while dissecting the size of the above mentioned nipa-pips a video fell into my view. I realized that there is something I want to tell you about the video I watched. I decided to cut the bitch and go for it.

Now how do you go from Liza Minnelli’s nipples at the Oscars, to Anatoly Kashpirovsky’s hypnotic seances in Soviet Union, to Afghan/Iraq war, how?

Of course Plastikoff could show you how clever he is by using something clever in his writings, you know like, telling you how you could drink orange juice and eat an orange at the same time? And nipples. Nipples are always good to talk about. They heal the masses. But Plastikoff is saying no to Liza’s nipples. He is better than that. He is just going to tell you stories, true stories, I should add.

Where and when Plastikoff was growing up there was this “Diadia (Uncle) Hypnotizer” coming on TV, I believe every Tuesday around eight o’clock in the evening. Plastikoff was still a teenager then and couldn’t quite understand why his family was watching this man talk on TV. It was not a funny talk show, no, and it was not a president talking either, but that “Diadia” was somebody who could make you happy. Yes, literally, happy just by talking to you from your TV screen. People around the Soviet Union watched religiously the guy on their TV sets while going into some kind of faints or trances similar to these.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwXma6uaQvA

Well, you should be aware that at that time churches and preachers were a no-no anywhere in Soviet Union. These were the Soviet Times. Something still needed to be invented for the people to believe in. “Diadia Kashpirovsky” gave the crowds the needed opium – the happiness which was running out as fast as that water from that sea that disappeared in Kazakhstan. To become happy, you, of course, had to watch “Diadia Kashpirovsky” on TV religiously.

This whole thing was ridiculous and ended, I believe, very scandalously, because, people were falling out of their chairs, sofas and whatever things they were sitting on. There were some traumas, but not the ones you get by falling from a chair, no. As you probably guessed, money had to do something with these falls. A crook will always be a crook. How could we recognize somebody like that “Diadia?” That is another question? Well you are in good hands, my darlings. You have Plastikoff himself. He saw this video, so he knows what he is talking about (smiley face).

Should I include a few links at the end of this entry for you to send me money now? Or should I learn how to speak as the above mentioned hypno-teaser?

Okay, my darlings, since you have checked if I had inserted those above mentioned links at the end of my entry and found that there are none of them there, shall we start watching some other videos now and talk about them? I think we should.

How my mind was able to get away from Liza Minnelli’s boobs I was writing about, I have no idea, but it did. Here is a video which inspired today’s entry. I am pretty sure you are going to need some tissues, because I needed them. No, I truly did.

Ohio 8-year old turns $20 into priceless gift

Alright my darlings, I don’t need to tell you what you saw in the video, or do I?

Well okay, for those who didn’t watch the video yet, you saw a soldier who got $20 dollars from a kid who lost his father in Iraq war when he was still a baby. The kid’s action and note inspired the soldier. The note truly touched the soldier and, as he said, this experience will stay with him for the rest of his life.

Stories like that are gold mines for media moguls who want to manipulate you and get your money. Yes, that’s right, even that little kitty you see on TV or your computer screen has something to do with the money. And this is how.

Ugh, I can feel some interesting energy coming my way, but before I dissect this particular video, let me tell you another, also a true, story.

I dated somebody who went to war in Afghanistan in the late 80’s. Yes, that’s right, I still cannot understand how, after the Soviet Union’s fiasco in Afghanistan, Americans, a decade later, went there too. I am pretty sure there are American soldiers who could tell similar stories to the one I am just about to tell you.

Well it is not a secret that to survive an Afghan war you need to drug yourself somehow. No wonder Afghanistan has the biggest poppy fields in the world. They need to provide all that opium to all those poor soldiers who come to fight them on their land.

Alright so, the army base, where my dear friend was fighting, was close to a little Afghani town. That was the town where our dear soldiers went to get their drugs and things of that nature. The town people knew all the soldiers as well as Soviet soldiers knew the town people. They all were living happily just with one little detail attached to their relationship, some of them were occupying somebody else’s land and were trying to put their rules on existing ones. Well, who pays attention to these little details anyway? Whoever holds the gun is the boss with the rules, isn’t that true?

It happened so that the soldiers ran out of whatever they were smoking, so it was time for somebody to go to the town and get the needed sugar for their dreams. My love interest volunteered to go to the town and get the dope, even though it was not his turn to do so. Nobody wanted to schlep the distance, so volunteering was happily accepted…

Well let me cut the story to the chase. My lover came back and found all of his friends decapitated? He was the only one who survived this massacre. Who did the decapitations, anybody’s guess. Thankfully he had all that dope on him.

Now you would say, oh those bad bad Arabs or whatever you call the people who kill your soldiers, sons and daughters, nowadays in Middle East. Well, yeah if you are a soldier you kill people and you are ready to be killed, isn’t it so?

But let me go back to the video which really made me cry my eyes out, it truly did. The innocence and the story of the child were heartbreaking. The only thing this kid knew was that his father was a soldier who fought in a war and was killed, so now when he sees a soldier he is reminded about his father who is no longer with him.

Would you like to play a little game now?

Let’s say that Afghanistan is the United States of America and America is now Afghanistan. Would you react the same way watching the same video if, instead of an American child, there would be an Afghani kid giving the money to Afghani soldier? You probably need some time to get this picture into your head. Should I put some kitty video for you while you do that?

I don’t believe you would react the same way you did while watching the described video. Right now you only know what media wants you to know. Can you see a human being killing another human being while you watch the video?

Oh, it is hard to write this and be “funny” at the same time, but I shall continue.

Every human being is a human being and every killing is a killing. When somebody talks about a war I hear somebody talk about a legalized killing. This video above becomes even harder for me to watch because that soldier is legally allowed to kill and I just hope he hasn’t had that “chance” to do so.

So now, what are you trying to say here, you’d ask me? Are you trying to deface American soldiers? Ha, did you really ask this question?

This is what I see in most army recruit and similar videos.

There is somebody rich who needs to become richer. The rich sees the opportunity to become richer in some foreign country. The country is not stable enough, so they need us to believe that the people there need our help. The rich need to recruit soldiers who would unknowingly fight for what they want. Knowing how people react at sad stories they just need to release a video like this and most of the job is done. Everybody sees a kid who lost his father. We need other soldiers to fight for that kid. So somebody gets killed and no questions are asked. The war is “the protection” from the foreign… somebody is still getting richer.

Plastikoff is too upset to continue with this right now… Discuss…

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